FOR LONGING
John O’Donohue
Blessed be the longing that brought you here
And quickens your soul with wonder.
May you have the courage to listen to the voice of desire
That disturbs you when you have settled for something safe.
May you have the wisdom to enter generously into your own unease
To discover the new direction your longing wants you to take.
May the forms of your belonging – in love, creativity, and friendship –
Be equal to the grandeur and the call of your soul.
May the one you long for long for you.
May your dreams gradually reveal the destination of your desire.
May a secret Providence guide your though and nurture your feeling.
May your mind inhabit your life with the sureness with which your body inhabits the world.
May your heart never be haunted by ghost-structures of old damage.
May you come to accept your longing as divine urgency.
May you know the urgency with which God longs for you.
A few key lines jump out at me this morning as I read this, most, lovely book. They point to a fork in the road I have ended up at more than a few times as I have journeyed this life. In the past I would stopped at this fork….stood there paralyzed…. and then would have turned around to go back from the way I came. I was too afraid to choose…..or even ask….”Which way Lord, right or left?” I was, also, more afraid of the answer He would give me….smile!
The line,
“May you have the wisdom to enter generously into your own unease…to discover the new direction your longing wants to take.”
I confess, I loathe change. Even more so, unease, in the process of change. This past year has been about the unease in the deepest part of my soul. Making decisions for my life that are very different from what other people are doing. I long for the days, at times, of not caring…being nominal….sitting on the bench with everyone else….but I am not called to this. Actually, I have never been like everybody else. It cost to be different. It is very lonely at times. I continue to push on…even though I am tired and do not want to, knowing that where I am headed is who God has destined me to be. Even if I do not understand it or if people question it. The unease to be different….but the greater ache to be like everyone else….keeps me pursuing that still small voice that begs me to, “Come on”….”Don’t stop now.”
The line,
“May your heart never be haunted by ghost-structures of old damage.”
I am damaged. This is a fact. Digging up the past, in order to move forward is beyond unpleasant. Every part of me wants to run and hide. I do not want to change. It costs too much. It is so painful. But, when it is more painful to stay the same, you know you are almost to the top. You know in your gut that victory is close. I tell myself this….because every ounce of me wants to give up and remain the same damaged person I always have been. How scandalous is that? When there is freedom from this if I will just die to self….press into God and hold on as He strips away all the “crap” that must go….in order for Him to make me whole….free….how can I say no to Him?
Today is a new day.
I pray for courage to be honest with myself.
To stay put in this process and not run and hide.
I do long to be all that He created me to be when He first thought of me,
before time began.
I celebrate what God sees that I can’t.
Today.
I am so glad you are my friend. I loved reading this and it’s crazy how what you wrote is exactly where I feel I am at!
It does cost to be different. I feel you on that my friend. The loneliness stinks. It hurts. People misunderstand all the time. I love that you are my friend though, and when I spend time with you I love the overwhelming sense of peace and normalcy you bring to my life. It nourishes my soul.
Great job
My husband was just detained by immigration after being married to me ten years, I am a citizen as well as my five small children, I am in a state of mourning and a friend sent me this link this morning, it was perfectly times in my life. Thank you,
Sarai
Thank you Saria….for reading and reminding me of this post. I am encouraged, again, that I am headed in the right direction….even in the midst of more change. I am so sorry for your husband being detained….I can’t imagine what you must be going through right now. Tell me how I can pray for you….for your husband and your five babies. I am committed to praying for your family!
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